If you look at the world and say “Yes, there are enough homes for people, yes, there is enough food for people, but if we give it away for free they won’t have earned it and the economy will collapse.” Then you have chosen money (a constructed medium of exchange) over living beings who only want to continue living in peace and safety.
And I have no qualms telling you, that is the wrong choice, and you have been brainwashed by this destructive, exploitative system.
WHICH ABUSERS ARE MOST LIKELY TO CHANGE
His close friends and relatives recognize that he is abusive and tell him that he needs to deal with it. They support the abused woman instead of supporting him. I have a much more difficult time with the abuser whose friends and family back up his excuses and encourage his disrespect for the woman.
His partner gets the most unreserved, unequivocal support from her friends and relatives, her religious community, and from the legal system if she needs it. The more consistently she receives the message that the abuse is in no way her fault and that her community intends to stand behind her 100 percent, the stronger and safer she feels to settle for nothing less than fully respectful treatment from her partner or ex-partner.
Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That”
When confronted with the fact that someone we’re friends with or admired is abusive, there’s a reluctance to support survivors even in leftist communities. But we want to maintain our credibility as an anti-violence advocate, while defending the admired person. You’ll see there’s a rush to defend the humanity of an abuser (not to reaffirm the humanity of the abused). But how do we pretend to be against violence ‘in our communities’ while still defending the abuser? We say that we can’t be too harsh on the abuser. That we can’t cut ties. That not welcoming the abuser into circles is itself an abusive and violent act. That by criticizing them too harshly we’re not going to change anything but we’ll hurt our community! How can we expect the abuser to change unless we let them know we support them as a human being.
And the abuser is counting on that. The abuser is counting on your neutrality or your unwillingness to ‘condemn’ them. Oh, they’ll make some heartfelt plea about changing. A Tumblr post where they says that they are holding themselves accountable. They’ll use socially conscious language, apologize to their victim (while emphasizing their own lack of control in the situation, while giving pages and pages about their tragic backstory and sparing maybe a paragraph talking about the humanity of the person who they hurt).
Few people could be involved in anti-violence movements unless we believed in the possibility of creating a world with less violence. But in a world that by default supports abusers and is questioning what their victim must’ve done to deserve abuse, it is far more radical for a person to unequivocally support an abused person than it is to muse about really the right thing to do is to invite an abuser to social circles, to parties, to protests, to meetings.
But doing that is not innocuous. It tells the abused person that you’d rather welcome the abuser into those spaces than make it comfortable for their victim. It tells the abused person that they’ve been forgiven - as if anyone but their victim has the right to do so.
To not tolerate abusive people in our spaces is not giving up on the idea that we can end violence. Not tolerating abusive people is a commitment to creating a culture where domestic and sexual violence is unacceptable.
Professionalism is a funny term, because it masquerades as neutral despite being loaded with immense oppression. As a concept, professionalism is racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, classist, imperialist and so much more — and yet people act like professionalism is non-political. Bosses across the country constantly tell their employees to ‘act professionally’ without a second thought. Wear a garment that represents your non-Western culture to work? Your boss may tell you it’s unprofessional. Wear your hair in braids or dreadlocks instead of straightened? That’s probably unprofessional too. Wear shoes that are slightly scuffed because you can’t yet afford new ones? People may not think you’re being professional either.
no matter how old you get
your goth phase is forever.
its weird that mostly all vegetarians and vegans only wanna fight for animals but not the underpaid/overworked people that pick their $15 organic grapes from Whole Foods in the sweltering sun for 15 hours at a time
like yeah you’re “not interested” in politics because the politico-social paradigm that exists works to your advantage, you afforded the right to not be politicized.
Many of us understand sex and gender as categorically separate when envisioning trans women. How do we enforce transmisogyny through biological essentialist views of what we define as “sex” when imagining trans women? This storify examines how we enforce physical & ontological gender violence through non-consensual cisnormative separations of sex and gender. Sex is very much a gendered concept with its own colonial and violent baggage.
Note: This is a partial storify. Read the full version here
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